Some thoughts on Presence
This has been a slightly challenging week, quite quiet in terms of bookings which of course is always difficult. The mind can start to race with thoughts like ‘Am I good enough?’ or ‘Is this going to work out for me?’ And yet after more than a year of being a therapist - and several years of meditation and other self-awareness practices, I notice a difference this time. Rather than letting my mind race I have been able to come back into presence, realising that I don’t have to fall into old stories and can just see this week for what it is - my first quiet week for a little while, and maybe even a gift to get some other stuff done or slow down for a bit.
There are a couple of things I have realised that have helped me get to this more zen state. First is quite simply making sure I have stuff to do. Whether that’s planning an exchange with another therapist, going to a fitness class, or writing this post! For me it’s easy to spiral into feelings of inadequacy but I find as long as I have a plan for my time it is far easier to resist those. And frankly if it’s a quieter week and I want to take a day off that’s also always OK. More than anything I find avoiding just sitting at my desk with no real plan is the key!
Secondly is my meditation practice, something that I have been working on for years - and is still challenging. But moments like this are where the practice of just being able to sit and notice what is going on in my mind is so valuable. And while that might seem like a big reach right now if you don’t already have a practice there is a super simple way to start - simply notice your breath. Try and stay with your breath for a few inhales and a few exhales. After that - see if you can notice other physical sensations - do you feel any pain or tightness? Really try and notice how it is and if / how it is changing? And then what about your emotional sensations. I know for me there are certain cues that come when feel I upset (a feeling like I want to cry) or afraid (a weight in my chest/solar plexus region). Your emotional cues are likely to be completely different - but I would bet that they often signify some core emotion. Nowadays I think of these emotional cues as gifts and whenever I notice them I enquire as to what is going on.
A couple of simple (and also really difficult!) ideas for coming into presence. Try them at any time and see if they help when you have something going on that you are trying to shake. As ever love to hear in the comments what you find!
